Put the PRE in Prepared

Another recipe for the frazzle minded, trying to make healthy inexpensive meals your kids will eat, in addition to throwing at the wall.

ORGANIC (or not) SOUPED UP MAC AND CHEESE

Sidenote: You can use organic butter, milk, Kraft Mac and Cheese, and everything else, if you can find afford it.

INGREDIENTS

Kraft Mac and Cheese

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup lowfat Ricotta Cheese (protein!  Calcium!)

!/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

a smidge of butter

precooked frozen broccoli or raw broccoli

shredded carrot

chopped tomato if your kids will eat it, or a few Tablespoons of Marinara sauce

Boil the Mac and cheese. If using raw broccoli, add to the water for the last 3-4 minutes of cooking. Drain.  Add all the rest of the stuff and serve while saying,  “VOILA”!

Waiting For Something to Happen…

I am making my own cleaning products (hello vinegar and water. And baking soda), or buying some of the Method products. I love the Seventh Generation lavender and mint dishsoap, and IT WORKS too. I especially like the eucalyptus/mint shower cleaner. I also recycling everything I possible can, reducing waste, and going grocery shopping with reusable bags. I try to buy organic dairy and chicken, along with whatever else isn’t ridiculously expensive (that really narrows it down!). I use shampoo/soap for my daughter that is “all natural” and chemical free.

Although some of the CFC free light bulbs are funky looking, emit a high pitched obnoxious noise when turned on, and are more expensive, I am using them. As my bulbs go out, I replace them with the new greenorama bulbs.

I walk around the house unplugging or turning things off ALL DAY and night. Our electric bill isn’t much different, but whatever. I am DOING MY PART.

So now I am waiting for a BANG BOOM POW or something to tell me that I am doing a good job, that I am doing things right, or that this is actually working.

See? Going Green Makes Me Happy!

The Bill From the Bar

Why is it that I feel guilty for doing something for myself? I have all the reasons in the world why I shouldn’t. It doesn’t help.

I bought Elmo tickets for my almost two year old and I , and they were $70. I have to pay for two tickets, because gee, I would sure love to go watch Elmo. Parents should get discounts! But I don’t feel guilty about that.

My husband royally pissed me off Monday. He went out and partied with his gross skeevy friend in Miami.
He is very nice but I don’t think he has ever washed his hands. I will leave the rest to your imagination.

So my husband calls me, his phone is in the process of going dead. This is 11pm. Sometimes I can’t sleep while he is out, for fear of drunk driving, car wrecks, being tossed in the drunk tank, etc. Here is my night when he is off getting wasted, staring at bitches, etc.

1:30 AM Take Xanax due to inability to sleep/worrying etc

3:00 AM Wake up, get panicky and then pissed, that I haven’t heard from the offending party

5:15 AM Wake up, worry that he is dead on the side of the road somewhere, or maybe arrested for drunk driving.

8:00 AM Now I am very worried, feeling sick from lack of sleep, and PISSED OFF. Are there no phones in the entire city? Does your friend not have a phone ? Can’t you borrow someone else’s phone, call collect, or use one in a bar that you are probably still in? Are you 17 years old and unable to tolerate alcohol or stop when you are smashed? Did you forget that you have a family, responsibilities, and are legally considered an adult?

So I called and made myself an appointment- no- multiple appointments-for a massage, facial, and manicure/pedicure. I bought an entire package. I sent an email that said BE HOME BEFORE 3. I AM LEAVING FOR THE DAY. He is an email whore and of course got THAT message.

He came home, looking like a sheepish asshole, tried to apologize, but I had nothing to say except SEE YA later. And then went and spent some money getting pretty and un-pissed off.

I didn’t ask for anything on Mothers’ Day. I got Eggos and coffee in bed. Didn’t have to change the poopy diaper, and had a sandwich made for me for lunch. Pizza for dinner. So I deserved this spa day, along with the retard husband factor. I should not feel bad. But I do.

Then I saw the bar bills (paid by debit card, at 1 am and 3 am at the same bar) and felt waaaaaay better. But still guilty. Then I saw the cost of the shooting range a week or two ago. Feeling better yet. But I also see that the new wheelchair wheels cost over $500 and wonder if that makes me feel worse.

I am back and I’m Bad

I didn’t disappear, I was just not thinking about this site at all for the past week.  Two weeks?  I don’t even know.  Here are some things I have managed to do and NOT do this entire time off:

1. Paint the front door (procrastinate no more! I did it!)
2. Buy new sprinkler parts (but not put them in)
3. Sign pool and screen contracts (I can swim naked in my own yard in a few months!)
4. Make mother’s day gifts (aprons with baby handprints and footprints on them)
5. Rearrange bedroom furniture and switch dressers
6. Have sex three times in one week!  And it was great too.
7. Quit birth control (is that why I am so horny again?)
8. Go to a yummy outside beach bar and eat lots of raw seafood (I am still experiencing the aftermath)
9. Clean my daughter’s closet, baseboards, rearrange her room, clean out her air conditioning vent, and scrub everything
10. Try to convince my husband to have another baby (not really working)

My back hurts.  I am going to bed.  My daughter is cute and can say her first and last name now, and loves to shut doors, knock, and say her name when we ask, “who is it?”.  Over and over again.  I love her!

Good Night Irene

I am so tired I can barely think, and yet I want another baby. How is it that I will be able to do this, I ask myself?  How could I not?  It is amazing what you can do when you have to.  I’ve got the itch, what do I do?

It is not quite my daughter’s second birthday, and I am feverishly trying to plan what month I should get this thing rolling, how am I going to get a boy, and avoid being pregnant in the summer if I can help it?  I think the best thing to do is to just start doing it and we get what we get.  I am taking my prenatals.  I have a caffeine addiction I need to overcome.  And I am yawning so hard I have to go to bed.  Just a bit of pre-sleep nonsense I thought I would brainstorm on a screen.

Green is for the Grass

This “trying to be greener” crap is a pain in the butt. Yes, I know it is imperative for the health of our planet and the welfare of our children and blah blah blah. But old habits die hard.

I went to Publix and bought ice cream and immediately went “damn!” as the bagger boy loaded it into a plastic bag. I need to get some of those eco friendly-I-don’t-shave-my-legs canvas totes for groceries. I am constantly running around the house flicking off lights and TV’s my husband leaves on in his trail. I have the toaster, coffee pot and computer printer unplugged when not in use. I am gradually replacing my cleaning products with greener stuff as I run out (and recycling the empty bottles). I wash clothes in cold water, don’t use bleach, and turned the thermostat up two degrees. We use our ceiling fans, have energy star kitchen appliances, and don’t drink bottled water. We recycle. Even the mail, and everything I possibly can. My goals this year are to start a compost bin, carry groceries in cloth bags, and replace the light bulbs with the cool green ones (C something maybe F and then a C? I don’t know the letters!).

Since part of the whole reduce- reuse- recycle thing is to reduce, I see no point in purchasing light bulbs and replacing the ones that work until the ones we have are all gone. That would be a waste of money and resources if you ask me. I will not be replacing all my current flooring to meet greener expectations either. I will use it, since it is already here. Better on my floor and in use than in a landfill, right? I think you should go green when you make new choices or get replacements. But don’t throw money away and replace what already works.

I am on the lookout for healthy home cleaning products, whether homemade (vinegar/water counter spray) or commercial. Remember, I am a bacteria freak, so they must really work. And I am cheap (no thank you to the $20 bottles of stuff please). I will share whatever I find!

Creative Ways to Avoid Things

I am currently avoiding several things I should be doing this very minute.

• painting the front door
• painting the hallway
• digging out all the receipts for exemptions for taxes (we filed an extension…long story…do you own a business?)
• scrubbing the shower
• exercising
• exercising again (I ate a huge bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream!)
• learning more about blogging

Now you know why I am writing about NOT doing them instead!  Besides, how could I focus enough to do these things well if 13 Going on 30 is on?

Recipe of The Week!

Pancake Battered Chicken

Ingredients:

• chicken cutlets, cut into bite sized pieces
• ready to make pancake batter
• hot sauce
• oil for frying
• dipping sauce (ranch, blue cheese)

Directions:

Pour an inch of oil into pan, heat to med/med high.

In one bowl put half a cup of dry pancake mix.

In another bowl, add half a cup of pancake mix, half a cup of water, and a few Tablespoons of hot sauce.  It wont be crazy spicy.  If you don’t believe me then only add a little, but it will taste bland!  Dip the chicken pieces into dry mix, then wet mix, then dry mix again.  Fry about 4-5 pieces at a time so the oil temperature doesn’t drop too much.  Set on paper towels to drain and serve with dipping sauce, and sliced carrots,  peppers, and broccoli to dip as well. This was adapted from a recipe by Rachael Ray I saw on Food Network.

To Do It or Not To Do It. That is the Question.

How do you deal with a toddler when you have a  baby on your boob?  On top of having almost ZERO hours of sleep?  How do you get up and fix food for someone else and care so much about them when you feel terrible and are pregnant and all you want to do is sleep and throw up?

These are the questions I ask myself.  I have an almost two year old.  She is very good, but she is almost two.  Do I start to try soon ( I got pregnant the very first try with my first one)?  Do I wait?  I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a sibling.  However, how is it possible to fully care for two children at the same time?  I could barely function with one baby.  I look forward to nap time like no one’s business.

Our family all lives far away.  We have very few people we even trust around here, to help out or babysit.  My husband is not terribly willing to do this again.  He has his original wife (not the tired cranky postpartum witch he was stuck with for a while) back again, and knows he is not as helpful as required (wheelchair, owns his own business, need I go on?)  I know that I don’t want my kids too far apart either, and we will be pushing three years soon.  I would like to get on with my life eventually.  Should I wait?  Go for it (I hate to say get it over with, but that is what we are honestly looking at)?  We are pretty sure two kids will be plenty, and I want to be done by thirty (I am 27).  Suggestions or comments please!  Your own experience, thoughts, and words of wisdom are needed.  Thank you!

I Feel Like a Smear

This is how I feel today!  Like a bug squashed on a windshield.  Yes, that is what this is a picture of.  I’m tired and have my period (that should explain it all.  Now I don’t have to go into great detail about headaches, bloatedness, etc.) One of a thousand nasty splats on the windshield of life.

How to Piss People Off on a Plane

1. Bring your handbag, laptop carrying case, a suitcase that doesn’t really fit in the overhead compartment, and your little drugged out dog that you will stash cram under the seat in front of you.
2. Make sure the child you bring is almost 2, therefore fidgety, loud, wanting to run all over the plane, and not sleep (that was my contribution to this trip).
3. Kick your tray table as many times as you can in four minutes.
4. Flail your arms and elbows into the person sitting next to you (who is using your armrest and half of your seat because their large ass can’t fit on just one seat. Does that mean they should pay for half of my ticket?)
5. Take a huge crap in the bathroom, so the plane smells hot and fruity for the remaining two hours of the trip.
6. Cough and sneeze a lot, and make sure they sound really juicy and gross.
7. Ask me to get up, and out of my seat as soon as my child (see #2) falls asleep on top of me.
8. Please, Mr Pilot, can you scream louder into the PA?
9. Look at my portable DVD player with the Elmo Goes Potty music streaming out, and act like it is bothering you.
10. Eat something smelly, like an onion sandwich, and breathe in my direction.