If You Don’t Like Ants

If you don’t like teeny tiny ants everywhere in your home, no matter what you spray, how clean you are, how well you seal and package your food, or what season it is, don’t move to South Florida.  You must learn to be at peace with the ants.  Ommmmmm


June 24, 2008 at 6:37 pm Leave a comment

Never Too Old for Sex

Should nursing home residents be “allowed” to get laid?  A sad, funny and true article!


June 19, 2008 at 8:15 pm Leave a comment

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Do you ever think of something, and then out of nowhere, it happens?  Or even a few days later?  I am not talking about thinking of spaghetti, and then making it for dinner later.  I mean something out of your control.  Lately this has been happening a lot, and it is spooking me out.

I am scared of the dark.  I admit it.  When I am home alone (well, alone with my daughter) I turn on a few lights and keep them on when I go to bed.  I also like to fall asleep with the TV on to drown out any boogeyman noises.  We have an alarm system, so hopefully that will keep the real ones out. Or at least help me from worrying about someone sneaking in through my daughters window and snatching her in the middle of the night.  Sometimes when my husband is gone, I have to take Benadryl or Xanax (which I MOST greatly thank the drug gods for) so I can stop listening for things and getting panicky and fall asleep.

Last night, I heard a weird noise in the hallway.  Maya was asleep, and my husband is still out of town.  I immediately turned on TV so I wouldn’t get spooked by anything else.  I grabbed the remote, and flipped it on, thinking hey, I wish I could catch a Sex and the City rerun.  Perfect to fall asleep to.  I pictured the one where Miranda thinks she has a ghost in her apartment (and Steve and Aiden open their own bar).  I turned to TBS, hoping to get lucky, and there it was.  THE EXACT SAME EPISODE I was just thinking about. So of course, I had to turn the channel since it was just to weird.  Does this happen to you?  Why does this happen?  Help!

June 18, 2008 at 7:56 pm Leave a comment

Climbing Mt. Crib

I was exhausted all morning, and looked forward to Maya’s nap with more excitement than you could ever imagine.

I read her stories, brushed her teeth, turned her music on, and let her get into her crib (she REFUSES to let me lift her in, she makes me lower the rail and let her climb in). I kissed her and raised the rail. I shut the door behind me, and took my pre-nap trip to the bathroom. I flushed, and as I walked through the kitchen heard “Maya, yeah, yup, yes, Maya do it”. The voice seemed very close. Almost like it was coming from THE HALLWAY. I said, “Where’s Maya? Maya?”

And a tiny person peeked out from around the corner and grinned at me. Which meant she climbed out, and didn’t fall (I don’t think, since there was no BOOM or BANG or THUD or crying). Then opened the door, and wandered around looking for me. Damn.

June 9, 2008 at 6:31 pm Leave a comment

Do You Like Farts?

My husband sent this to me.  How romantic.

If you are grossed out by farts (why would you?  They are funny!), don’t say I didn’t warn you…


June 5, 2008 at 7:17 pm Leave a comment


Maya couch

Go do Yoga. Please, you will thank me later.

I used to think it was slooooooooooowwwwwwwww and worthless. All the stillness, stretching, meditating, weird positions you had to get into.


It is great to get the hell away from your mind*, and stretch and relax a screwed up back.

Plus, you are out of the house for over an hour and a half and, gasp, by yourself.
The End.
*which is full of child, husband, house, work, computer, phone, washing machine, bills

June 4, 2008 at 7:16 pm Leave a comment

Bodily Functions Are Funny

Maya burped louder than her daddy last night.  I think it was the loudest noise that she has ever made. It scared her for a second, until she realized, hey, that was cool.
We laughed so hard, and Maya covered her face with her hands and laughed. She bent over,  giggled, and was sort of embarrassed.  And pleased with herself.  As she should have been.
That was followed by a firing of missiles, to which she responded with another laugh and said, ” “tooting!”Maya by the door

June 2, 2008 at 3:23 pm Leave a comment

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