Poopy Finger Painting

March 31, 2008 at 7:32 pm Leave a comment

This morning I was very tired when I woke up. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. I chose to entertain my insomnia until 3am watching Dane Cook’s stand up performance named The Vicious Circle, or something to that effect. I took a Xanax about 2am hoping that would do the trick, so I must have fallen asleep somewhere between 3 and 330. I woke up to “Mama mama mama icky. Ucky. Pee pee. Poo poo. Mama”. I somehow peeled myself out of bed, stumbled down the hall, where the smell off poop got stronger with each step. I immediately knew what I was in for, from previous experience. Sure enough, I opened my daughter’s door, and was slammed in the face with the awful smell of toddler poop. The poopy fingerpainting had kept her busy while I was asleep. It was so gross I couldn’t tell if Lily had stripped down before she pooped, or had pooped in her diaper and was annoyed by it, therefore ripping it off after. She was totally naked; clothes, a poopy smeared diaper, a poor dirty Elmo, blankets, and a book smudged up the whazoo with poop. There was doody everywhere! All over her crib, the sheets, everything in the crib, her hands, and then I laughed. She had given herself a dirty sanchez. For the sake of decency, I wont describe, but if you go to www.Urbandictionary.com, you will find the definition. All I could do was wrap her in a towel so I didn’t have to come in full contact of her, and plop her into the bathtub. After she was clean, I had to somehow remove the lovely artwork she had painstakingly created for me. I stripped the bed, and threw all the clothes, animals and sheets into the washer. I scrubbed the book and every square inch of her crib with Clorox wipes, using up most of the giant sized container of wipes. I had the fan on, her window open, and it took forever to air out. I made my husband keep her busy while I was sanitizing everything. He had the nerve to yell through the door and see if I was done yet. Oh, yeah honey, I am, I just wanted to sit and bask in the lovely aroma, you jerk off. This is not the first nasty excrement cleaning task I have had to endure. But it is the worst. Poop is pretty gross. Lots of bacteria, and can make you pretty sick if you aren’t diligent at washing your hands and sanitizing wherever it has been smeared. To make matters worse, you gotta scrub at it, because if it starts to dry up, it really sticks! Too much information? Just trying to keep you healthy, and help you out. Sorry. If anyone in your family has a gastroenteritis (fancy pants name for a stomach virus that makes you vomit, poop, or both) watch out. It is not only very contagious, but you need soap and water to kill the virus on your hands. Alcohol hand gels wont cut it. WASH your hands, for a minimum of 15 seconds. Clean your bathrooms like you have to eat off the surfaces in there. I love Clorox, Lysol or Mr Clean wipes for sinks, vanities and toilets. Lysol toilet bowl cleaner is great, it smells like wintergreen mints. I also use The Method (A Target product I think, because I can’t find it anywhere but there) on showers and tubs. At the end, wipe or mop your floors with Lysol floor cleaner, or just use a solution of one gallon hot water to a quarter cup of bleach. Don’t forget to wash your rugs, wipe the door handles down or spray with Lysol, and scrub the sink handles and toilet flushing handle. A lot of work, but better than barfing your guts out if you don’t kill all the germs. I am a total germaphobe and insist on wiping down or lysoling all the frequently touched surfaces. Door handles, refrigerator handles, the pulls on cupboards, light switches, phones, you name it. I am a nurse and a human being. I know how dirty people are and I appreciate a nice, sterile house!

Entry filed under: Cleaning, Mommy Life. Tags: , , , , .

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